Christmas Awesome

Posted on December 22, 2008 by jonbish

There was a lot of Christmas Awesome that happened this past weekend. I am also looking forward to much more Christmas Awesome in the near future. I hadn’t really gotten into the holidays at all yet but a snow storm and some Christmas shopping changed that in a snap.

First off I wanna give snaps to my Jeep. You’ve provided much entertainment throughout this snowy event and I thank you greatly. Snaps should also go out to my Jeeps partner in crime, the snow. Thank you snow for piling up everywhere and allowing me to plow through you.

Second I would like to thank my step brother for not being a royal pain in the ass when I took him Christmas shopping. You were actually a lot of fun to hang out with. Sorry I couldn’t take you to the strip club afterwards, you’re only 14.

Third I would like to think the 2 random old men I gave rides to at 2 AM when they were stuck at that pizza place in town. No need to thank me, you left 20 dollars behind.

I would like to add that it’s not cool to fight when Christmas is like 3 days away. That said, my roommate and his gf win the douchiest douchebags of the week award (don’t worry guys, Willy Lopez usually wins this one every week).

Next item on the agenda would be the Christmas Awesome that happened at the bar Saturday night. One of my friends left earlier because of stomach issues. The following conversation took place about 30 minutes after he left via text message:

Friend: Yo wtf i just took a massive shit behind Walgreen’s.
Me: I love you
Friend: No like no joke it was horrible lol go by and look lol
Me: I dont really want to
Friend: Well for me you should but you prob walked to bar so its k but its horrible like a homicide scene
Me: lol next time

So in closing. Jeep wins. Looking forward to an awesome Christmas.

Gamer Fo' Life

Posted on November 21, 2008 by jonbish

Photo by Soprano For Now

Every weekend I have set aside about 4 hours in which I can play Counter-Strike. I can’t help it. I was one of those computer nerds who would bring their computer to a friends house so we could lan. Good old lan parties. Sometimes I’ll mix it up and play a little DOD or TFC but recently I’ve been a huge scoutsknives fan so I rage A LOT of CS.

So enough Greek for those of you that have no idea what I’m talking about.

Lets bring it back a little. What games were a big part of your childhood? It could be anything from Lincoln logs to Sega genesis (Sega was pretty clutch).

I would have to say that original Nintendo sculpted a large part of my early video gaming career. I remember a lot of Mario/Duck Hunt, Super Mario Bros 3, Golf and some crazy chess like game where the pieces were creatures that would battle and stuff. I also went on to own such classics as Zelda and Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out.

So video games aside, I used to like taking stuff apart and putting it back together. This led to my love for K’NEX – “The World’s Most Creative Construction Toy”. I probably played with them until I was like 16. I would try and make it cool by building actual functional items like folder holders and alarm clocks that always missed my head. Not gonna lie I, actually know where those two glorious orange boxes of connectible trinkets lies. Good thing their not in this house because I would have already stopped writing this and started building a rollercoaster.

OK enough about the dam k’nex. Favorite childhood game had to of been Truth or Dare. It was always a win win situation that would result in me learning something new about life or… er… the human anatomy. I know everyone has played it at one time or another. It was the “break the ice” game that entertained us through puberty. I think as a result of that game I’ve … (this is the first time I’ve gone back and read what I wrote and said um …. maybe I shouldn’t go into detail).

So there you have it. K’Nex, Nintendo and Truth or Dare are the games that dominated my childhood. So now it’s your turn …. TRUTH: What games were a big part of your childhood?

Flashback Sunday: God Camp

Posted on November 10, 2008 by jonbish

So I went to camp up at Lake Winnipesaukee in New Hampshire from when I was about 8 till I was 16. Regardless of the fact that it was a Christian camp … it was a lot of fun. I spent my entire summers of my last 2 years there I loved it so much. I mean who wouldn’t … we had “the blob” from the movie heavyweights (that big balloon you jump on to launch people in to the lake).

My older years at the camp were my favorite. Especially the CIT years. The camp had an awesome program of activities:

White water rafting
15 days of hiking
7 days in a canoe up on the Allagash in Maine
10 days up in Chibougamau in Canada
3 days solo in the woods with no tent
3 mile swim across a lake

It was all awesome and I have a lot of great memories… but one sticks out.

The CITs were broken up into 1st years and 2nd years. When I was a 2nd year we had just gone on one of the best hikes I had ever been on. I took a lot of pictures on this specific hike and was looking forward to bragging about some of the things I had seen.

Well there was this squirrel. He made it his mission to steal every piece of small electrical equipment he could get ahold of so he could dismantle is and use it for his nest. He especially enjoyed eating our batteries out on a rock in front of the cabin where we could see him as if to mock us. Needless to say both my camera and my cell phone fell victim to his quest. I was furious. We actually found the squirrels nest some time later with my camera torn to shreds and my phone scratched to all hell.

Then one day we caught the squirrel in a mouse trap. It’s tail was chopped off by the trap and it had gone into shock. We brought the squirrel about a mile down the road and set it free by the girls camp. We didn’t want to kill it but we didn’t want it messing with our stuff anymore.

About a week later the squirrel is back in our cabin trying to steal our stuff again. The little bugger was relentless … tailless and all. So we immediately went on the offensive. Next thing you know there are 12 guys running around with lacrosse sticks and canoe paddles trying to swat down and shoo out a technology loving squirrel. Unfortunately in the scuffle the squirrel hit its head and knocked itself out while trying to jump across the room.

Next thing i know, one of the other 2nd years comes walking into the cabin wearing nothing but the squirrel’s pelt and he says “Anybody want them some squirrel with hot sauce”. I was 17 and had been out in the woods for 7 weeks … so of course I ate me some squirrel.

So that was God camp in a nutshell. Well, that and a lot of capture the flag.

Things I Can't Stand

Posted on October 29, 2008 by jonbish

I find myself repeating myself over and over again when rationalizing the things that I say and do. I usually just wouldn’t give a dam but for my friends and family I’ll repeat myself as many times as they like. For the rest of you I’m making a list of things I can’t stand:

People that don’t have good relationships with their parents. I understand that in some cases there are good reasons to not have relationships. This is more about a girl I know that is a bitch to her mom for no good reason. She is also incredibly spoiled … but ya. I’m a family man.
People that aren’t open minded. This ones simple. I hate people that refuse to step outside of their little safe box.
People that are racist. I’m pretty laid back when it comes to this stuff but people in my family have not been so lucky.
People that try and push religion down other people’s throats. I went to 8 years of christian camp, youth group, bible studies and catacombs by choice. It was a great time in my life but I have since moved past it. Your not going to teach me anything I don’t already know. I choose to have my own beliefs or disbeliefs of my own and you can enjoy the same privilege. Lets keep it that way.
People that think they know everything. Because I know I know everything and that’s all that matters.
People that judge me by my age and appearance. If everyone started judging everyone else by how they presented themselves and their accomplishments we would be a lot better off as a society.
Parents that shelter their children. I was a camp counselor for years and have always loved working with kids. My younger stepbrother is one of the coolest kids I know. A lot of over concerned parents ruin their children’s youth by instilling fear. They do this out of compassion and their own fear but they don’t realize the real danger they’re doing. The odds that something will happen to your child are only decreased by such a microcosm of a percentage that its not ever worth trying to figure out. The truth is that child psychologists believe that your kid is alot less likely to have a normal social life when they grow up do to a lack of basic survival skills we develop in adolescence. Basically… let your kids be kids.
The Police. I know a few cool ones … but they’re about to retire so we’re all screwed. This is just because of my own personal relations with cops up to this point.
- My dad was assaulted by cops in Salem, MA
- I was arrested at a 4th of July cookout for not underage drinking

Well that’s about it for now. I’m getting to tired to think.

UMass Homecoming

Posted on October 23, 2008 by jonbish

This past weekend was homecoming at UMass Amherst. I would have written about this sooner but I’ve been pretty sick the last couple of days.

So I arrived Friday night at the current president of my old frat’s house. A couple of the guys had already arrived so we immediately went inside and started the festivities with some beer pong. I won my first game of beer pong of the weekend in triple over time so i decided to call it quits and go undefeated.

We then went to the bar where we waited in line for about 30 minutes. While waiting in line, this girl behind me asks how many people are in front of my. I told her about 15 or so and she then calls me an asshole.

?^&*^(?

I was very confused at this point so in my semi drunken stupor I replied …. I think I’m more of a douche bag than an asshole. She agreed and continued to be a drunk bitch. I hate drunk bitches.

So we finally got inside and I bought a pitcher of the fine stuff …. bud light …. which was gone in about 2 minutes. I’m pretty sure one of my buddies just grabbed the pitcher and chugged it.

I had enough at this point so me and a couple other guys left early and went back to the house to drink with the rest of the underage kids.

The next day was tailgating galore. It was great to see so many old friends.

That night I went out and bough 7 30s to contribute to the nights stockpile and the party began.

Note: Girls …. writing stuff across your boobs will get you extra beer

I’m sorry but I’m a guy and when I’m drunk … not gonna lie… it works

The night was great tho. The sox won. I got really drunk. We all danced and drank till the wee hours of the morning.

I finally decided to crash at around 4AM at my buddies house down the street. So I’m just about to pass out when my buddies roommate comes storming in drunk yelling WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU. He flipped over his couch and he’s throwing shit around. He yells WHY IS EVERYONE SLEEPING …. ITS DRINKY TIME. I just put my pillow over my head and prayed form morning.

Finally morning came. It was a lazy Sunday. Me and my friend Pat drove down to Springfield where we went and saw Max Payne. Then I dropped him off in Gardner and was back to the North Shore by arount 7.

Monday morning I woke up sick as a dog. I guess my body cant handle it anymore. Oh well. I’ll be back there some time next month for Round 2